‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – 2013

By Mandelman

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS… 2013.

An Annual Political and Economic Year in Review by Martin Andelman

You can read it below, but if you click ‘Play’ above… I’ll read it to you.

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‘Twas the night before Christmas – 2013

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‘Twas the night before Christmas – 2013

It was time to consider all the things that we’d seen.

For this past year was one that I’d never forget

So, I sat down to write with a good anisette.

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This year we jumped off, another fiscal cliff vote,

Then we raised the debt ceiling, to keep us afloat.

Whooping cough hit us hard, both the Mrs. and Misters,

I don’t think that has happened, since the radio played Andrew Sisters.

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Then a guy named Joe Ratzinger announced that he’d retire.

Causing the Vatican to look around for a new Pope they could hire.

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And North Korea exploded its third nuclear bomb,

Which made South Korea feel anything but calm.

Scientists queried if uranium or plutonium,

And I wished that world leaders would learn to play the harmonium.

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Obama’s big speech on our dis-Union’s state,

Turned government’s role, into one of endless debate.

He claimed deficit would drop, while we’d help middle class,

His speech made me want to start chewing on glass.

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Some Republicans announced they’d now back same sex marriage,

Leaving the Tea Party unsure of which side to disparage.

Between Dems and Reps only ill will did fester,

Why were stupid budget cuts called a “sequester?”

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Unemployment down, only meant less participation.

It didn’t just correlate, it was a case of causation.

Then news about jobs, came in a barrage.

But in truth, it was only a statistical mirage.

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Then chemical weapons were used over in Syria

It’s cool to kill folks with guns, but not with bacteria.

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Obama vowed to take action, so he tried hard to push,

But congress refused, proving he was no Bush.

Then bombs went off in Boston, and the runners all ran,

Was it terror born here, or in Where-the-fuckistan?

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Then letters to the White House came with Ricin inside,

It was clear that terrorism had yet to subside.

But a Texas plant blew up, and it seemed not to fit,

Turns out fertilizer on fire makes exploding piles of shit.

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The recovery of our economy, for the rich remained quite pleasing.

For the rest, however, it was less than quantitatively easing.

Bernanke pumping billions into markets went nonstop,

Accomplishing near nothing, except for those at the very top.

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Problems continued throughout the Middle Easts.

Israel bombed …read more